Overlook Flaws and Accentuate the Good
by Master Lee Feng San Shifu
Translated by Sophia Lui
Edited by Ric Meyers
Someone once asked me: “When it comes to remedies for illnesses, Chinese medicine seems to have a slower action. Does Western medicine alleviate our symptoms more quickly?” I answered this question by using the analogy of the hydrogen bomb: To increase the speed of reaction of any substance, it must sustain a much higher pressure. As a result, the subsequent explosion and damage will also be much greater. This is my profound, personal, experience.
The same applies in the way we educate our children. The more we pressure them, the more they rebel. Instead, we should try to overlook their negative behavior, and focus on their good ones. But what if there is no good behavior? Then we should help them to discover their own potential for better behavior by having them associate with people who can be good role models for them. If we do this, our children will turn out to be much better. The reason for not focusing on any undesired behavior is because the more we do that, the more that unwanted behavior becomes impressed upon them, and it will be difficult to correct later on.
It is no different in the way we deal with crime and evil in society. Fighting against them does not help much because, like a nuclear bomb, there is no stopping it once it has been detonated. Moreover, the more force we use to combat them, the more violence and resistance we encounter.
Similarly, when we encounter good behavior, we should reinforce it, because if we do not, it gradually weakens and finally extinguishes all by itself. Therefore, it is not enough to just to recognize someone else’s good qualities — without encouragement, they will not flourish. As a result, evil forces will grow, and we will not be able to do anything about them except look on helplessly.
Therefore, not just parents, but everyone should know how to bring out the best in people by overlooking their flaws and encouraging their positive side. In this way, the world will become a more peaceful place.
“The fight against evil will not end, but we can keep evil in check by looking for the good in people.” — Lee Feng San Shifu