Courtesy Demands Reciprocity
by Master Lee Feng San Shifu
Translated by Sophia Lui
Edited by Ric Meyers
For centuries, China has been known as a country of courtesy. “Li,” which literally means “courtesy” or “rites,” refers to rules of conduct or moral standards. Traditional Chinese etiquette governs the daily life of the Chinese person. Regardless of one’s professional field, or whether one is a monarch, a subject, a father, or a child, everyone should adopt certain rules of behavior.
“Li” also applies to the legal system. If lawmaking does not observe the “Li,” then all subsequent rules and regulations will be prejudiced and biased. “Li” also involves the sophisticated art of reciprocity. The ancients say: “Courtesy demands reciprocity.” This means it is impolite to not reciprocate. Whether it is between neighbors, friends, teachers, students, and relatives — or different countries all over the world — there should be reciprocity.
“Li,” as it pertains to moral behavior, not only plays a part in friendly relations, but also in business relations. However, nowadays, many businesses do not observe “Li,” which results in loss of business and consumer confidence — eventually leading to economic recession.
Do you believe what I have just said? Although I am no expert in economics, I understand things by applying concepts of the Dao. Generally speaking, students are not taught “Li” when they study economics, and therefore their subsequent decisions in business are not guided by moral standards.
When I look around me, there are many people who are not formally educated, and yet they exhibit very good manners. On the other hand, many well-educated people come across as ill-mannered. What is the reason for that? It is because the latter believe that their education makes them smarter and better than the rest, and therefore they become conceited.
Regardless of whether we are educated or not, we should look to “Li” for guidance in our conduct. If all of us embrace “Li” in our daily lives, then we would have fulfilled our responsibility to ourselves and to others. Integrating both our inner spirit and outer behavior through observing “Li,” means that we will become a person with foresight who sees the big picture and takes the interest of the whole into account.
In place of “Li,” other countries appear to have a system, or rather a pattern of social interactions. that is based on shared cultural norms and values. For example, if I say: “Excuse me, I salute you, so you have to return my salute or else I will punch you.” This is an example of a system or pattern. Another example is, “If you have a gun, I too must have a gun.” Or “ you want to make money, but I want to make money too.”
These are all examples of a system or social pattern. Simply said, all these are related to the “Li” in Chinese culture. Although westerners do not know about the cultural basis of “Li,” they rely on these social systems to impart social behavior. Therefore, we have various approaches to etiquette, or “Li,” in the east and the west, and they remain something to be ever explored.
“’Li’ is the sophisticated art of reciprocity.” — Lee Feng San Shifu